Dear Friends
Dear friends,
It has been over five weeks and I am still at a loss for words. What happened is so enormous for me that I can only afford a glance at a time. If I were to allow in all that wants to come right this minute, I would drown in sorrow and maybe self pity and I know Avi would call it bad poetry and none of us wants to be on his "bad poets" list...
The truth is that (I make it up as I go...) my magical, custom-fitted playmate is gone and it is very, very sad. Yes he left many tools, poems (and other written references everywhere he found a pencil and a piece of paper) to help to deal with sadness, but right now the clutter in my mind is insurmountable and I cannot readily find the right implements. As I am writing this I am immediately reminded to straighten out and I am starting to feel a little excited at the prospect of uncluttering my life, and I hear him exclaim "fantastic!" in his beautiful velvet voice, and again I feel sad for I miss this voice so much. And so it goes. The very thing that helps me feel better in one moment, brings waves of sadness in the next, and as I am being thrown by this roller coaster, I tell myself that by riding it out I become stronger, and again, I start feeling a little better.
And the thought of you makes me feel better, too. I had the honor and the good fortune of meeting many of you and I thank you for being so wonderfully open, generous and kind to me. I thrive from our interactions and I am always open and hungry to hearing from you .
Bob was an impeccable therapist (as many of you told me) and never shared with me anything that had occured within the sanctity of his space with those of you who were his clients. You know a lot more about me than I about you. But one thing he told me was that you made incredible strides due to your hard work and your perseverance. He was very proud of you and very modest about his part in your success. He always said he could not take much credit and that whatever happened, it emerged from what he and you created together, a collaborative effort. He could not have done it without you.
Thank you for having graced his life with your presence,
Anna
It has been over five weeks and I am still at a loss for words. What happened is so enormous for me that I can only afford a glance at a time. If I were to allow in all that wants to come right this minute, I would drown in sorrow and maybe self pity and I know Avi would call it bad poetry and none of us wants to be on his "bad poets" list...
The truth is that (I make it up as I go...) my magical, custom-fitted playmate is gone and it is very, very sad. Yes he left many tools, poems (and other written references everywhere he found a pencil and a piece of paper) to help to deal with sadness, but right now the clutter in my mind is insurmountable and I cannot readily find the right implements. As I am writing this I am immediately reminded to straighten out and I am starting to feel a little excited at the prospect of uncluttering my life, and I hear him exclaim "fantastic!" in his beautiful velvet voice, and again I feel sad for I miss this voice so much. And so it goes. The very thing that helps me feel better in one moment, brings waves of sadness in the next, and as I am being thrown by this roller coaster, I tell myself that by riding it out I become stronger, and again, I start feeling a little better.
And the thought of you makes me feel better, too. I had the honor and the good fortune of meeting many of you and I thank you for being so wonderfully open, generous and kind to me. I thrive from our interactions and I am always open and hungry to hearing from you .
Bob was an impeccable therapist (as many of you told me) and never shared with me anything that had occured within the sanctity of his space with those of you who were his clients. You know a lot more about me than I about you. But one thing he told me was that you made incredible strides due to your hard work and your perseverance. He was very proud of you and very modest about his part in your success. He always said he could not take much credit and that whatever happened, it emerged from what he and you created together, a collaborative effort. He could not have done it without you.
Thank you for having graced his life with your presence,
Anna
Views: 24
Comment
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Comment by Anna Hertzberg on April 20, 2009 at 9:54pm
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Blair,
thank you for a wonderful haiku, congratulations!
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Comment by Blair Robertson on April 20, 2009 at 11:16am
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Anna,
Thanks so much for that! I tried to send you a haiku the other night, but couldn't tell if it sent. It's the first one I ever wrote, and I wrote it the other night after talking with you about some of this. Not good, but...
Pushing thoughts away/Can be more difficult than/watching them go by.
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